Pooh's Adventures of Façade
by Psyga315
Summary: Pooh has been formally invited by what seemed to be an old friend of Mr. Sanders to come over to his house. Naturally, he decided to bring along as many friends as he could and try his hardest to help Grace and Trip get back together.
1. Part 1

{Author's Note: Alrighty, I played through a lot of Façade yesterday, and I really enjoyed it. I realized there's fanfiction of it, though there's just a handful (six counting crossovers) and all of them are one-shots. I wish to rectify this. 'How?' you might ask. Well, simple, I tell you. By crossing it over with a... genre of crossovers. Also, potential crackfic warning is in effect, so watch out if the fanfic doesn't make any sense.}

[Disclaimer: I think we all know what I'm going to say, so let's skip it.]

* * *

And hey, let's also skip the intro to these Pooh's Adventures that go on for ages. Our story begins with Winnie The Pooh sitting on a log outside of his... or rather Mr. Sanders' house. Soon, Christopher Robin came over, holding a letter in his hand.

"Hello, Pooh!" Christopher Robin said.

"Hello, Christopher Robin!" Pooh said. He then noticed the letter. "What is that letter for?" Pooh asked.

"Oh, it's a letter addressed to _you_ Pooh!" Christopher Robin said to Pooh as he gave the letter to him. Pooh then opened the letter.

"Dear Adam Sanders,

Hey, it's Trip! It's been a while! Why don't you come over tonight? Grace and I would love to see you! Come on over to 123 Fake Street around 8, okay?

Hope to see you tonight,

Trip"

"My, it's wonderful!" Pooh said.

"So, seeing as you live under Mr. Sanders' house, I figured it was addressed to you. So, what do you say? Do you wish to go and visit them?" Christopher asked.

"Why, certainly, Christopher Robin! Let's also bring everyone along!" Pooh said.

"Uh... Everyon-" Christopher Robin asked, confused. However, Pooh shouted to the top of his lungs:

"**EEEEEEEEEEEH-VEEEEEEEEERY-_OOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!_**" which scared Christopher Robin as he ran off to go find as many friends of Pooh as he could.

And so he gathered... Oh hell no. I am so not doing this. I'm not listing this! This is gonna take us all day just for me to type alone! And to list them off every single time? No! I say no! I'm just gonna just put a single number. That's it.

Christopher gathered 100 of Pooh's friends. Guy must be a social butterfly. And so, Pooh and his 100 friends went off to... wherever 123 Fake Street is, and have one weird adventure.

This, my friends, is an adventure I call...

**Pooh's Adventures of Façade!**

**Featuring Pooh's 100 Friends!**

* * *

However, they were far away from the city that contained Fake Street, and thus they relied on transportation. Fortunately, they had a train named Thomas. As they simply walked into Sodor, which, uh... is a freaking island, Pooh asked Thomas if he could ride him to Fake Street.

"Sure thing, Pooh Bear! I just need to make sure we're accommodated for the size! Annie, Clarabel, can you fit all these people?" He asked his two coaches.

"No, Mr. Thomas, we can't!" Annie said, her eyes widen in shock at the sheer size of Aladar, a dinosaur. Clarabel's eyes were more stuck to a giant walking nuclear bomb metaphor, otherwise known to the audience as Godzilla. The coaches were about the size of their freaking feet. The only hope they have to fitting is if they were shrunk, and nobody thought of making a shrink ray.

"Sorry guys, looks like some of you have to stay." Pooh said to the giant part of the group, disappointed. Understanding (and even happy with this), they left. **80 Friends Remain. **

"Hey! Thomas!" The Fat Controller said as he walked to the station. "What is the meaning of this?" He asked Thomas.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Thomas asked him.

"You were supposed to be working the branch line! Your absence is going to cause much confusion and delay!" Topham said.

"Well, I'm sorry, sir..." Christopher Robin said to the controller. "But you see, we need to visit someone and-" Soon, Christopher Robin was interrupted.

"No! You listen to me! You are not to use _my_ trains for _your_ 'adventures'! Especially without paying! Now get off of my damn Island, you freeloaders!" Sir Topham Hat said.

Pooh sighed. "I guess we have no choice then... **_HURRY! INTO THE COACHES!_**" Pooh said as he ran into the first coach he saw. Complied, many of Pooh's friends ran to the coaches as well... Well, except for the smaller ones... They... well, they kind of got squashed under all the rushing. One of them, Huckle, a seven year old cat, ran to see that his friend, Lowly, along with the Wonderpets, Garfield, and the Jungle Cubs, were crushed underneath the rush.

"Lowly! Speak to me!" Huckle cried out to his fried.

"I... can't go on... Huckle... I... I'm sorry..." And with that, Lowly gave his last breath and exited this world.

"**_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO!_**" Huckle cried out. **60 Friends Remain. **Soon, the trains left, carrying as much people as they could, though it was still as packed as a Japanese subway. Pooh and his friends inside Annie felt that there was more room.

* * *

When the train stopped in... Let's say New York, because that's pretty usual, Pooh and his friends got off. The doors on Clarabel opened as a noxious fume came out. Pooh and his friends would notice that several of them have died of suffocation. Timon then realized what happened as he noticed Pumbaa being the only one on the train still breathing.

"Oh for Mufasa's sake, Pumbaa! Learn to control your bowels!" Timon said.

"Timon! I'm so sorry! I can't handle being in large crowds!" Pumbaa said. Timon could only slap his forehead in shame of his friend's flatulence murdering a good chunk of Pooh's friends. **21 Friends Remain**. As the number of friends dwindled down, Pooh felt exceptionally worried.

"Sorry I can't follow you guys, with me being on this rail and all. I hope you all the best though!" Thomas said as he stayed on the rails. **20 Friends Remain**.

"Christopher Robin, will we ever make it to Fake Street?" Pooh asked Christopher Robin.

"Well, we might... Oh! I see it!" Christopher Robin said as he pointing to a sign called Fake Street.

"Oh, wonderful! Let's go, friends! To the apartment!" Pooh said as he marched to his destination. Soon, a mother and her daughter noticed them.

"Look Mommy! It's Ronald McDonald! And he's with Mickey Mouse!" She said, pointing to the strange clown man and the walking mouse man with large ass ears. The two stopped to wave hi to the little girl, while Pooh and his other friends kept going. She smiled and as about to ask for his autograph, but soon, her mother pulled her away.

"No! Don't talk to the creepy clown! He could snatch you away!" Her mother said, clearly traumatized from the antics of Pennywise the Clown.

"Madam, I can say with all my guarantee that you have nothing to be afraid of..." Ronald said. But she just couldn't listen.

"POLICE! POLICE! THEY'RE TRYING TO TAKE MY BABY!" She said. Soon, several policemen came.

"STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!" One of them said as they took Ronald and Mickey down town for questioning. **18 Friends Remain**.

* * *

Soon, Pooh and his friends made it to the apartment, and just on time too, they were just on time. Entering into the apartment, they soon found and entered the elevator. However, because of just how many there were, the elevator moved sluggishly. Pumbaa could feel everyone pushing at him and shoving him.

"Uh, Timon... I... I'm crowded... I'm gonna..." But Pumbaa couldn't say anything more in the account of his ribs being compressed. However, one of them, Kirby, noticed what he was going to do, and in a brave act of courage, he swallowed Pumbaa whole and devoured him. He soon gained hair exactly like Pumbaa, as well as his pink skin being more of a reddish color. Nobody noticed, or cared (save for Timon and Simba, obviously) that Pumbaa was no longer with them.

"Hey Pumbaa, you feeling good?" Timon asked Kirby. Heck, they might have just mistook Kirby for Pumbaa. **17 Friends Remain**.

* * *

"Where are the wine glasses?" Trip asked Grace as he looked around for them.

"What for?" Grace asked.

"That should be obvious!" Trip said.

"Oh God, Trip, don't turn this into a big production, please!" Grace said. Pooh and his friends arrived at the door. Pooh then walked up to the door and knocked.

"Uhp, he's here!" Trip said.

"What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!" Grace said.

"No, he's supposed to be here now!" Trip said.

"God... Trip!" Grace said. Soon, the door opened.

"ADA..." Trip said. He then noticed the seventeen people and Pooh. "Wait... you're not Adam..." Trip said.

"Erm... No. We're not." Christopher Robin said. Pooh then began his... Oh god... He began his mandatory introduction sequence that takes about thirty minutes to do.

"This is Piglet, and Rabbit, and Tigger, and Christopher Robin, and Buzz Lightyear, and Twilight Sparkle, and Spongebob, and Sonic, and Amy, and Simba, Timon, and Pumbaa, and Shin-chan, and Lilo, and Ash, and Cynthia, and Eeyore..." Pooh said. As rehearsed, Eeyore said:

"Thanks for noticing..."

"And I'm Winnie the Pooh!" Pooh said. Only to notice the door was closed on him. If this was any play through, the game would have been over, but this is Pooh's Adventures, where the rails on the road go straight into the fixture. Simba then pounced through the door, breaking it open.

"JESUS CHRIST! IT'S A LION!" Grace said as Trip ran to go get something.

"Hey! Relax! We just want to talk!" Simba said. Grace screamed.

"HE'S TALKING TO ME! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Grace said. Trip then entered the room with a twelve gauge shotgun and pointed it at Simba.

"You have some nerve trying to eat my wife!" Trip said. He then pulled the trigger. As the famous Spike Spiegel once said...

_Bang._


	2. Part 2

A loud bang came from the apartment of Trip and Grace. To everyone's relief, the gun didn't injure anyone, as Sonic ran in and grabbed the bullets.

"Hey! You should know better than to aim a gun at royalty!" Sonic said.

"R-Royalty? THAT THING'S A LION! HOW IS IT ROYALTY!? AND HOW COME YOU CAN TALK!?" Trip asked, pointing the gun to his face. Sonic rolled his eyes as he swiftly switched the gun so that the barrel was facing Trip's face, in typical Looney Tunes fashion.

"It's a _really_ long story that I don't want to detail. You might get bored. All _you_ need to know is that Simba here is a king back where he's from. I'd treat him with a liiiiiiiitle more respect than point a shotgun at him if I were you. And well... all of us. Look, if you just forget that we are talking animals, we can make this night go by so much faster." Sonic said. Trip looked at Sonic and glared at him.

"Look, we were expecting someone named Adam. He's supposed to be here to celebrate our tenth year anniversary!" Trip said.

"Um... What? Trip, our anniversary isn't for another month or two." Grace said.

"No! The _other_ anniversary! The anniversary when Adam introduced us. Remember?" Trip said to Grace, who shook her head.

"Uuuugh! Damn it." Trip muttered.

"Well, Mr. Trip, we can take the place of Adam." Christopher Robin said.

"No! No... Adam was supposed to be here... To..." Trip then groaned. "Actually, no. This is fine. I'm going to make you guys feel welcome. Starting off with some drinks!" Trip said. He then walked to the bar table, where he began to look for some wine.

"Trip, are you crazy? Half of these guys are kids!" Grace said, pointing to Lilo and Shin-chan.

"Oh sure, drop the ageism bomb, why don't you." Shin-chan said.

"So? I'm sure I have some Coke in here somewhere." Trip said.

"No. No. I don't mind. Give us the hard stuff." Shin-chan said to Trip.

"Uh, Shinnosuke, you're like... 5. You shouldn't be drinking an alcoholic drink." Buzz said.

"Hey! You're not my dad!" Shin-chan said.

"True, but I _am_ the most reasonable authority figure out here. Well, next to Cynthia and Twilight." Buzz said to Shin-chan.

"Ooookay. Look, I'll just make martinis for you and that woman over there." Trip said to Buzz as he took out a bottle of wine.

"That's not the Bordeaux we saved from our wedding, that we were going to drink on our tenth wedding anniversary, RIGHT?!" Grace asked Trip just as he opened it.

"Eheh... Oops..." Trip said. Grace groaned as Trip poured the drinks. Cynthia went over to grab a glass. She then turned to Ash.

"A shame that you're still ten. If you actually grew up, I'd let you drink with me. Ah well." Cynthia said as she began to sip the wine. Buzz joined next to her and began to drink his glass too. Eeyore then looked at a photo next to the bar table.

"Ah! Looking at the new photo I took from Italy? It's a marvel, isn't it?" Trip asked.

"If you ask me, it's a waste of space." Grace said as she went to the couch.

"Nonsense! Now, talking donkey plushie, describe to me in one word what this photo means." Trip said. Eeyore stared into the picture for a while. All he saw was a white Italian building, old and decaying.

"I see sadness." Eeyore said.

"Ah. That's a fine word." Grace said, chuckling.

"No. I'll give you one more try." Trip said. Eeyore looked at the picture one last time. Suddenly...

"Hey! I can probably guess this! Guessing what pictures mean is what Tiggers do best! Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoooooooooooo!" Tigger said, bouncing to the picture and looking at it himself. "Let's see... Um... Italy! No, wait, Building! Wait... it's... it's..." Tigger said. Rabbit then entered and looked at the picture.

"No, Tigger. He's asking you what the picture represents. Surely it represents the hardworking nature of humankind and their monuments to the world! Achievement is _my_ answer." Rabbit said. Piglet then walked in to see the picture.

"I... I... Oh d-d-d-d-dear... Um..." Piglet said. Soon, Twilight went over and whispered into his ear. "Ah! Romance!" Piglet said. Trip clapped his hands and pointed to Piglet.

"YEAH! Romance! Atta boy!" Trip said. Grace, meanwhile, was talking to Amy, ignoring Trip.

"So, what do you think? Do you think it's too much decorating?" Grace asked Amy.

"Well... Not really. I mean, you need to include a lot more furniture." Amy said, looking around the room and noticing just how very sparse it was in reality. No table in front of the couch, no tv, nothing. Just a couch, a shelf, a bar table, and a far-off table with a phone on it.

"Oh. Yeah. Sure. MORE things in the house. I'm sure Trip would _love_ that!" Grace said, throwing her arms up.

"What? Grace... What?" Trip asked.

"Oh, yeah. You heard me! This room is filled with expensive and worthless crap! I want to just... sell it all!" Grace said.

"Oh, Grace, honey, I doubt you mean it..." Trip said.

"Yeah! I do! Just want to take everything here and just... PUT IT UP ON KIJIJI!" Grace said. It was at this point where Twilight went to Pooh and Ash and whispered to them.

"Guys, I'm starting to think they might have problems. Problems we need to fix." Twilight said. If this was before the events of Lesson Zero, she'd be delighted with this, as it would cover her week's letter. However, her psycholight phase passed and she no longer felt the burden to write one up.

"Greeeeeeaaaaaat. Just once, I'd like to relax without running into these problems." Ash said. Soon, Trip heard Ash. He stopped his talking and focused to Ash, with a shocked look.

"Wait... Are you saying we... have _problems_?" Trip asked.

"Um... Yes." Pooh said. The two then chuckled.

"Oh... You're quite the kidder..." Trip said.

"But we aren't kidding! Look, it's clear you two are disagreeing with each other!" Twilight said.

"You... think we're... _disagreeing_?" Grace asked with the same shocked looked.

"Well... You sort of were complaining to Mr. Green shirt." Lilo said.

"And... Well... You tried to hurt Simba with a shotgun!" Spongebob said to Trip.

"Wait... Are you saying I'm... _controlled_?" Grace asked.

"Wait... you think I'm... _angry_?" Trip asked.

"Yes! Both of you! You two should definitely seek help!" Twilight said.

"Wait... Are you suggesting we should... _get help_?" Trip asked.

"YES! HOW MANY TIMES MUST I HAMMER IT IN! YOU! NEED! **_HEEEEEEEEEEEELP_**!" Twilight screamed at the top of her lungs. Several of Pooh's Friends plugged their ears, including Kirby, who felt very nervous around the screaming. Soon, his powers that he absorbed from Pumbaa activated.

"PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FT" was what sounded soon before Twilight finished off her yelling. Followed by a very nasty stench. Trip was the one who noticed that Kirby caused the fart. With one hand holding his nose, he picked up the small reddish blob.

"Okay, Pumbaa, that's it, you have to go!" Trip said as he threw "Pumbaa" through their window, causing him to crash through it and into the city streets. The nasty stench soon escaped from the broken window. Timon and Simba's jaws dropped. Soon, Timon went to Trip and tried to hurt him, but his fists were pretty tiny.

"I'LL RIP YOUR DAMN GUTS OUT! HOW DARE YOU THROW PUMBAA OUT YOU [**_EFF!_**]-SUCKER!" Timon said. Suddenly Trip was surprised. And then...

"Alright, Timon, that's it! You gotta go!" Trip said angrily as he shoved Timon out of the room. He then opened the door.

"We'll be fine. _You_ just have to _go!_" Trip said as he threw him out the door and closed it.

"Hey! You shouldn't be treating my friends like that!" Simba said.

"Or what?" Trip asked.

"I'll... I'll..." Simba said, thinking of what to do. Little did he know, Trip was sneaking to the gun. As soon as he picked up the gun, he responded. "I'll ban-" Was all Simba said before a well placed buckshot entered his stomach, complete with a loud **_bang!_**

"Hah! Take that, you lion!" Trip said as Simba reacted to his mortal wound.

"Aaaaaargh!" Simba roared as his friends gathered to him.

"Please speak to us!" Pooh said to Simba as he coughed up blood.

"Pooh... I'm... I'm gonna meet my dad, aren't I?" Simba weakly said to Pooh with a chuckle.

"Damn it! Don't die on us!" Ash said, hiding his tears by angling his hat in a way where his visor would obscure his face. Sonic turned to Trip.

"WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR!?" Sonic asked Trip.

"He's a lion! He was going to eat us!" Trip said.

"AND PEOPLE THOUGHT _I_ WAS THE ONE JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS! CELESTIA ALMIGHTY!" Twilight said. Trip noticed Shin-chan, Lilo, and Spongebob also gathered to Simba, with Lilo muttering to herself a sort of Hawaiian prayer. Simba was having several death throes before finally going to that great Pride Rock in the sky. Then, Spongebob's waterworks began to burst, as streams of water flowed out. They were so massive, that Seren- Erm... I mean Usagi would be jealous of them. Buzz Lightyear then pointed his laser wrist at Trip.

"You're now under charge of Regicide, you know that, right?" Buzz said.

"Hey! You intruded on _my_ ground! I think I should be totally in the clear!" Trip said to Buzz.

"Ah. Castle Law. That'd be the case... if we were entering uninvited! But we were! Through that letter for Mr. Sanders!" Buzz Lightyear said. Cynthia was too busy consuming her drink to notice that someone had died.

"Since when did _you_ become Phoenix Wright?" Cynthia drunkenly slurred.

"So? I can just shoot you and the others easily!" Trip said. Before he could fire any more, Buzz shot a laser from his wrist at the gun, disintegrating the shotgun.

"Now then. If you would follow me to the proper authorities..." Buzz said.

"Oh boy! We get to meet Ronald and Mickey!" Pooh said, somehow forgetting about the death of one of their close friends.

"How do you know they're in jail?" Ash asked, also trying hard to forget the dead lion for now, but to no avail.

"... I know everything. Hmmhmmhmm..." Pooh said. Ash felt creped out by this, and refused to speak any further. Buzz then led Trip at laser point, walking him to the door. However, there was a problem once Buzz opened the door. Timon was standing by the elevator, electrocuted.

"What in the..." Buzz went over to activate the elevator himself, but he suddenly received a shock once he touched the button. He too was knocked out by the electrical rig on the button. Soon, they heard a familiar laugh.

"**_GWAHAHAHAHAHA!_**" Suddenly, outside of the apartment flew a large green, red, and yellow ship that looked like it came from the Playstation 1's graphics, as several polygons were stacked together to form a devastating ship of doom... A doomship if you will.

"Bowser!" Ash said as he recognized the ship.

* * *

**Kirby **was thrown out.

**Timon **was electrocuted

**Simba **died from bullet wounds.

**Fourteen Friends Remain...**

{Author's note: And to think I wasn't going to _include_ Bowser, or otherwise keep him out of the adventure and make him a one-off joke}


	3. Part 3

Pooh stared and looked at his archenemy's ship from the window as his loud laugh echoed across the city.

"Pooh Bear! Finally, I have you in my grasps! And this time, you won't get away!" Bowser snarled through the Doom Ship's speakers.

"Let me guess, you teamed up with a villain and you will let the villain do all the work for you, then, when the villain is down and out, you head off. Right?" Rabbit asked.

"For once… **NO!** GWAHAHA! No, I actually have a plan this time! And for once, I'm gonna follow the Evil Overlord's list and NOT tell you my evil plan!" Bowser said. Just then, another voice took over the loudspeaker system.

"Oh, why don't we? What's the harm?" A feminine voice said, which sent shivers to Twilight's spine as she recognized the voice.

"Hey, Twilight, you okay?" Ash asked her.

"Y-yeah… It's just… I know who Bowser is with… It's… actually, I don't think I got your name." Twilight said to the Doomship.

"What!? I nearly took over Canterlot! How the hell do you not know me?" The female villain said.

"Well… All I know is that you're the Queen and all that… But never once have you told me your name." Twilight said.

"You want my name, fine! It's Chrysalis!" She said. "Now… to tell you my plan!"

"_Your_ plan? Look, we made the plan together, and we're sure as hell not going to spill it in front of the heroes like this!" Bowser said.

"Hey! It worked for me back at Canterlot!" Chrysalis said.

"Yeah, because you had an army being fed off the power of love! We have none of that here!" Bowser said. As the two bickered, Sonic talked with Twilight.

"So, who's this Chrysalis fella?" Sonic asked Twilight.

"Well, she's the Queen of the Changelings, and like Bowser said, they feed… on… Oh, you got to be kidding me." Twilight then turned her attention to the Doomship. "Your plan involves feeding on love, isn't it?"

"YES! My plan is to feast on the love that Grace and Trip share!" Chrysalis said.

"Erm… Yeah, we sort of checked on that. Grace and Trip aren't really in the loving mood. At all." Shin-chan said.

"Wait… are you saying we're… not in love?" Trip asked.

"**_YES! SHUT UP!_**" The entire group said.

"Oh, but I _know_ these two don't have their spark. The very essence that makes their love truly love! That's where you come in…" Chrysalis said.

"And… Um… what do you want us to do?" Pooh asked.

"Simple! BRING THEM BACK TOGETHER! Once their love has been reignited, you will be free to go!" Chrysalis said.

"And if we don't bring them back together?" Eeyore lazily asked.

"Then you are free… free to sit here and **_ROT_**! That door won't turn itself off, and we'll have guards patrolling the window so that you won't dare get out! Technically, you are all captured and that means I have finally won!" Bowser said, laughing devilishly.

"Well this is just great, Grace. See what you have done?" Trip asked Grace.

"What? I didn't do anything! You're the one that's controlling my life!" Grace said.

"Me? Controlling? HAH! Grace, I've been trying my _hardest_ to get to where we are now! _You're_ the one that's getting in the way!" Trip said.

"So why the hell don't you two just break up!? If you don't like each other, then just break up!" Amy said.

"Wait… Are you saying we should…" Trip said, but before he could finish, he was bashed in the head by the Piko Piko Hammer.

"OH SHUT THE **_[EFF!]_** UP!" Amy said. Then, a few seconds later, she realized that she had just given Trip a concussion.

"Oh God, TRIP!" Grace said, trying to get him awake. She noticed the blood seeping out of Trip, and she grabbed Spongebob and placed him on the blood in an attempt to soak it up. Spongebob soon began to gag on the blood that his head was being forced into, until he drowned. On the plus side, the blood was completely gone! Twilight just simply facehoofed.

"Hey, I think I've sobered up! What did I miss?" Cynthia said.

"The usual." Lilo said. Just then, Christopher Robin went in the room.

"Guys, I checked up on Buzz! His circuits are fried beyond repair and Timon is dead!" Christopher Robin said.

"Oh d-d-d-d-dear!" Piglet said.

"Can this get any wor- Oh crap I just said it." Twilight said as Tigger looked to Bowser's ship.

"Don't worry, ol buddies, ol pals, I'm gonna take on Bowser mano-a-mano! Taking on foes bigger than me is what Tiggers do best! Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoooooooo!" Tigger said, bouncing on his tail, jumping as high as he can towards Bowser's Doomship. Soon, two giant photon cannons fired and Tigger became nothing but ash. No, not the trainer, the substance.

"Well… That was stupid." Twilight said.

"OH NO! TIGGER!" Pooh screamed out. Everyone in the room looked to Pooh as he went on his knees. "Oh why did Bowser kill him? Why not me? I should have been the one that died… Not Tigger! Not my… not my friend!" Pooh said. There were no tears, for he was a teddy bear, but they all knew that he was crying, weeping for his fallen friend. Moments of silence passed before the loudspeaker went off.

"So… why don't you just fire into the apartment?" Chrysalis asked.

"Huh?" Pooh asked.

"Oh what? And just ruin the plan right here? Our plan hinges on Pooh to either rot or force him to bring Trip and Grace together!" Bowser said.

"He's just gonna get in your way! Kill him and be done with it! Then we can focus on forcing Grace and Trip together!" Chrysalis said.

"This coming from the Changeling who didn't bother to kill the one thing that would mess up their plans!" Bowser said.

"I was banking on her killing Cadance! How the hell was I supposed to know that ass shake was supposed to be some sort of secret sign!?" Chrysalis said.

"Oh I don't know, maybe if you did the bloody research on the person you're imitating instead of just changing into her, locking her up in a cave and acting like the complete opposite of her, maybe you wouldn't be giving off warning signs the size of Kansas!" Bowser said.

"Oh, and what about you? What have your plans involve so far? Nothing! Because you just ride on someone else's back and just watch as their plans crumble around them! I managed to take over Canterlot for a short time, and it was my own damn plan! No other villain can claim that feat!" Chrysalis said.

"Oh, except for maybe Discord." Bowser mumbled. "I mean, he only took over all of Equestria for a slightly longer time."

"He was a chaos god! I was just a mere Changeling Queen! Cut me some slack!" Chrysalis said.

"Okay, you know what? Pooh Bear!" Bowser called to the grieving Pooh.

"Bowser…" Chrysalis said.

"Chrysalis, let me ask our… ahem… guest, a question. Pooh, yes or no: If you're trying to win an alliance with other villains, wouldn't be best if you stuck with them and helped them accomplish their goals, even if they fail in the end?" Bowser asked Pooh. He looked down, trying to muster up an answer. However, Tigger's death left a massive hole in his head, leaving it to be constantly blank. He didn't even bother to perform his thinking ritual. Just stood there and looked.

"Okay! Fine! I don't need your answer! Chrysalis, I'm trying to help you while at the same time fulfilling my plan! If you're just gonna make comments in front of my face, I'm not bothering to help you! RAAAH!" Bowser said. Loud footstomps could be heard from the loudspeaker.

"Yeah! Go on! Get out of my face!" Chrysalis hissed. Twilight Sparkle sighed.

"This is gonna be a long night…" Twilight said.

"ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ME!?" Bowser roared.

"**_No!_**" Everyone, Grace and Chrysalis included, said at the same time.

* * *

**Buzz Lightyear's **circuits are fried.

**Spongebob** drowned.

**Tigger** was blown to smitheroons.

**Eleven Friends Remain.**


	4. Part 4

There was an immense silence in the apartment as Chrysalis and the gang waited. Chrysalis opened her mouth.

"Y'know… I sort of wanted to eat today and eating normal food doesn't cut it… me being a Changeling and all that…" Chrysalis said.

"Oh, so now we're talking about me, huh?" Bowser said, coming back to the microphone.

"What? No!" Chrysalis said.

"Oh. Right. Of course. Say, why don't you cry crocodile tears and get Pooh and the others to side with you? I mean, it worked so well the last time!" Bowser said to Chrysalis.

"They were gullible! I easily fooled them!" Chrysalis said.

"Yeah, they were so convinced that you were the nice and kind Cadance… Oh wait." Bowser said.

"Well, maybe I should have just gotten some cake and shoved all the Changelings in there. I'm sure that would have worked. Or maybe I should manipulate my children into believing that Shining Armor was really their father and that I would have liked it very much if they brought him over for me. Look, I have my plans, and you can make fun of them all you want, but I know your plans too." Chrysalis said.

"Argh… That incident at Delfino was just me being overworked and overtired. I just wanted a vacation for myself, okay?" Bowser said.

"And I just wanted to see my dream of destroying the capital of Equestria come to life, is that so hard to ask?" Chrysalis asked.

"I'm just surprised it happened so easily! Seriously, it's like they practically gave the keys to the kingdom away! At least I had to _work_ to get what I want!" Bowser said.

"Is that it? You're upset because I easily achieved something?" Chrysalis asked.

"No. I'm upset that you gave it away so easily. Really? Lovely but ridiculous sentiment? HELLO! YOU USED IT TO KNOCK OUT THE PRINCESS OF THE FRAKING SUN!" Bowser said.

"… I see… I can get how failure after failure can be to one's ego. I get that. Not every villain has their day. I may have made some boneheaded decisions, but who _hasn't_! I mean… Telling a guy hanging off the ledge of a cliff that you killed his father… forcing the one person who could screw up your plan to fight you… Heck, having a big axe at the end of the bridge… We all have those pride-filled moments."

"… Yeah… I… I can see how you could get away with that." Bowser said.

"I… I think we're having problems being villains. I mean, look at ourselves. We're threatening the lives of a bear and his friends when we could be out trying to-" Chrysalis said.

"Take over the world?" Bowser finished.

"… Of course… This… changes everything. Thank you, Pooh… Wait…" Chrysalis said. Then she looked at the crowd. They, sans Pooh, were busy sitting in a circle and playing cards.

"Got any threes?" Sonic asked.

"Go fish…" Eeyore sighed.

"HEY! WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A CELESTIA-DAMNED REVELATION HERE!" Chrysalis barked.

"Huh… Oh. Right… Should give a damn for Tigger's death… But truth is… everyone's gonna die… I don't care anymore." Eeyore said.

"Yeah. We should actually mourn for Tigger…" Sonic said.

"Well… Screw it. I'm leaving you guys here to rot. Me and Bowser are gonna take over the world. Tootles." Chrysalis said. Soon, the Doomship flew off.

"Huh? Did she say something?" Cynthia asked before taking a swig of Trip's bottle.

"I dunno." Ash shrugged.

"Oh. My… SHE'S OUT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! WE GOTTA STOP HER!" Twilight said. She looked as the group, again sans Pooh, were paying more attention to playing Go Fish. "Okay then, I'll stop her. But how… I… Wait! The window! Of course! They left! I can just fly out of here! Don't worry, I'll fix this!" Twilight Sparkle said as she galloped to the window and jumped out. She could feel it. Being in the air. Soaring… Flying… Then she noticed she wasn't actually moving forwards. Rather, much like the old Looney Tunes of yesteryear, she was frozen in mid-air until she looked down at the following text:

{Author's Note: I wrote this story before I had any idea Twilight would suddenly gain wings, be called a Princess, and infuriate 90% of the fanbase. And so, I wrote her as pre-S3.}

"Ah crap. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Twilight said as she fell towards the pavement, followed closely by a splat.

"I should have given a care about her too… But quite frankly, that Adjustment Burrow nod flew over my head…" Eeyore said, drawing a card.

"One no trump!" Cynthia hiccupped.

"Uh, Cynthia, we're playing Go Fish." Ash said.

"I sacrifice my queen to summon the Joker! His special effect lets me slrrrrrrrrrrrr…." Cynthia tried to speak more, but she passed out from the drunkenness. Speaking of, Trip came to.

"Uhhhh… My head… What happened?" Trip asked.

"Oh, Trip!" Grace said, suddenly realizing that she was part of the plot. She then held him.

"Grace… It… I had a bad dream! My grandmother… She… she was trying to grab me and drag me to this large light! I… I didn't know what was going on… But I didn't wanna be put on the streets again! So I ran! I ran, Grace!" Trip said.

"Woah, woah, woah… Streets?" Grace asked.

"Yeah… I… My family went on the streets when I was a kid… we were poor… and… I… I didn't want to feel that pain anymore. That's… why I filled my room with so many expensive objects… I… I want to feel secure." Trip said.

"Oh… Trip… I… I…" She began to whimper a bit.

"Th-th-that painting… That painting is lovely…" Piglet said, pointing to the painting above the couch.

"Oh… That… I… That… Trip… I… I've been painting… It's… the only thing keeping me sane. That painting above you… is one I painted. I… I guess I just let you control me…" Grace said.

"Wait… Are you saying I was… control-" Grace put a finger on Trip's mouth. She smiled.

"Not anymore… I'm sorry I let it come to that… Had I known about your past… This… changes everything." Grace said. Trip put her hand away.

"It has…" Trip said. He then got off the couch. Grace tried to embrace him, but Trip motioned to the broken window. He looked to the ground where the splattered Twilight was at.

"Trip? What… what are you doing?" Grace asked. Trip turned around.

"I… It's over, Grace." Trip closed his eyes, leaving a solemn tear behind.

"What? Why!?" Grace asked.

"Had I not been so controlling… None of this would have happened… I have a lot of blood on my hands… and… there's no way to fix that… I'm sorry, but… You'll be fine. I just have to… go." Trip said as fell backwards. He would have fallen to his doom had it not been for four powerful words.

"CHARIZARD, I CHOOSE YOU!" Ash threw his Pokeball onto the floor, summoning the Fire Lizard himself. "Charizard! Save Trip!" Ash said. Charizard snorted and ran out the window, spreading his wings and trying to get himself to Trip's level of altitude. As soon as he matched altitudes, he grabbed Trip and flew upwards before his feet touched the ground. He then flew up and back to the window, tossing Trip to the others. "Way to go, Charizard!" Ash said, patting Charizard's snout.

"You… You had that with you?" A voice spoke out. Everyone turned to see Pooh, standing up for the first time since Tigger was killed.

"Y-yeah." Ash said. He could see it in Pooh's eyes. Despite them being realistically being two plastic slabs cut to make circles and act as eyes, the black eyes showed a lot of emotion. Despair. Depression. Loss. But there was one thing that Ash noticed, even in the darkest of eyes. Anger. A bright burning hatred seething inside Pooh since the day he met his first outside-of-Hundred-Acre-Woods friend Belle.

"Do you imagine how many unneeded deaths your lizard could have prevented?" Pooh asked.

"I… I…" Ash muttered.

"You could have fought Bowser and Chrysalis, but instead you stood in the background and watched others waste their lives! How many other Pokemon do you have, Ash? How many Pokemon could have saved our lives? Your rat could have overcharged the trapped elevator, for one." Pooh said. He was closing in on Ash.

"L-listen! I was trying to save Trip!" Ash said.

"And not Tigger? Or Twilight? Or Timon? Or Buzz? Or Simba? Or Pumbaa? Spongebob I could get, but why not the others!?" Pooh asked. Piglet and Rabbit both shuddered.

"P-pooh, we should just…" Rabbit raised his paw before Pooh snapped his view at him.

"Not another word! Ash has had this coming for a long while!" Pooh said. The glare he made to Ash was now like that of a hungry bear about to feast on some food. The group could actually hear Pooh _snarl_. Ash looked down, defeated.

"Yes… I… I'm a bad person. I sat idly by while others died. I tried my damned hardest to become a Pokemon Master, but I always take one step forward and two steps back. I… I don't deserve to be the best that no one ever was… If you think I should die… then so be it." Ash said, offering himself to Pooh. Pooh ran to push Ash out of the window before being knocked out with the Piko Piko hammer.

"There! That should work! For now…" Amy said. The group could hear crying. They then noticed that it was Lilo whimpering. Shin-chan tried to hold back tears as well. Christopher looked to Ash.

"Ash, do you have a Pokemon that could take these guys back home?" Christopher Robin asked.

"Y-yeah… Charizard can do that." Ash said, pointing to the two. Charizard nodded and carefully took the two onto his back. He then flew out of the window and off to Hawaii and Japan to drop off the two kids. Christopher Robin looked over to Pooh, then to Grace and Trip.

"… We need to fix this somehow." Christopher Robin said. He looked to the rest of the group, and they nodded. He looked back to Grace and assured her: "We will stay here until you two are a loving couple again."

* * *

**Twilight** went splat.

**Lilo and Shin-Chan** are put on the bus.

_**Eight Friends Remain.**_


End file.
